2021

TI (11:21)

Mixed media (November 2021)

Provocation education.

In this twelfth model-specific series, the subject was Ti, a complete unknown and I sensed he wanted to keep it that way. An odd juxtaposition — modeling — very exposed — but holding back. I felt I was being tested, enticed, or provoked into proving myself. I did find out he had been a dancer and was now a professor, so maybe that teacher/student mode was a performance situation he was comfortable with.

The “space between” was suddenly full of power, contrast, and urgency.

The sketches were vague and incomplete.

The figure kept running off the page.

There was a lot to capture in a limited time — Ti had another engagement following our drawing session. The clock was ticking.

My usual process is to draw six sketches, thank the model, and after they leave, start to paint the experience on my own. I have settled into telling a chronological narrative in order from 1 to 6. My “storytelling” has often started with a more recognizable figure in the first panel, then begins to deconstruct until the figure reconstructs by panel six.

Ti’s series fit this pattern initially, but what I started to sense was that the panels were spilling over into each other. The chronology of my time with Ti wasn’t as linear as I was trying to impose. The “space between” couldn’t be contained in six panels. The whole experience was one unit. I pushed the pieces together. Allowed the figures to flow into their neighbors. I wanted to capture the movement and the dance.

As any good teacher would, Ti pushed me into a new way of seeing and creating my work. So what at first felt like resistance was really a generosity I hadn’t experienced before. I was challenged without being instructed. A very special teaching talent.

I’m left with the feeling that there is still a lot to learn. There are so many times in my work that I just want to get it “right” when what I should want is to keep growing and discovering. There is no one way.

Life is a learning experience. There are countless teachers out there. For an artist that’s a very good lesson to learn.

And having the right teacher, at the right moment, doesn’t hurt.

SAUMITRA (9:21)

Mixed media (September 2021)

Encounter.

In this eleventh model-specific series, the subject was Saumitra — sharp, engaged, aggressive. I like to think that I’m a free agent simply going with the flow of the encounter and peering into the space between. But from the get-go Saumitra wasn’t having any of that. He was there to model — to be noticed. I felt overwhelmed and out of control. He had an expectation and he wanted it to be satisfied. That immediately made me feel insecure. These modeling sessions were not usually a tug-of-war. Usually they were amateur models looking for direction. I get to be reassuring and engage them in conversations.

Here was a rush of water — a small tsunami — moving, daring, intoxicating. Everything felt rushed. Everything felt like it had to get done. Process be damned. Results. Results. Results.

And so, after he left, I decided to start with watercolor instead of my usual pastel and acrylic. Watercolor is not a medium I am comfortable with — nor particularly skilled at — but Saumitra demanded a stretch — something different. Layering while I tried to visualize my response to him in the space between. Bubbles. Portholes. Something light. Something floating. Taking things apart so that they can be put back together.

This has been a challenging time. A summer that started on a hopeful note and ended feeling unmoored.

Disruption.

Nothing is normal. Is it ever?

Isaiah: Part 3 (6:21)

Mixed media (June 2021)

Narrative and value.

In this tenth model-specific series, the subject was, again, Isaiah — third time is the charm. And, like the earlier series, a narrative element demanded attention. From a shadow figure lurking in the background of the first painting to the two figures ending in an overlay in the final painting, the struggle of the relationship between the model and the artist in the space between is in the forefront.

Wrestling, attacking, dancing, and dissecting are some of the actions I see in this particular relationship. The commingling of form and content — of what is physically present and what exists in beyond the tangible. A look, a scent, a word, a tone shifts the space between completely.

These paintings were worked on during Covid times when everything seemed so insecure. I wanted certainty. I was exhausted by routine. Sometimes there is more in the space between then just the experience.

I discovered some videos on YouTube from Art2Life that emphasize the importance of value, design and color. It felt like the right time to embrace the blackness and whiteness of things. Isaiah, being of mixed race, felt like the right vehicle for that exploration. I’m sure another entire conversation is happening here that I’m just beginning to see.