"I believe that we are living at a time that overemphasizes the need of newness, of furthering concepts". - David Park
David Park was a painter in the Bay Area Figurative School. He was a teacher and mentor to many American artists, most notably Richard Diebenkorn. In the 1940s he was painting in the objective style (abstraction) but returned to painting figures in the 1950s because he was concerned that art was becoming more about the artist rather than the painting. His canvases spoke in bold colors and thick brush strokes. He created compositions that were about figures (bathers, musicians, people on the street) living in an environment that could only exist in the world of paint. He wasn't trying to capture a likeness. He wasn't trying to promote a methodology. He was trying to express himself and the way he sensed the world.
I struggle with trying to justify how I paint. I am caught up in the notion that my paintings have to be about something. They need to be purposeful. I have to know (academically) what I'm doing.
My mother often asked me about my portraits, "she doesn't really look like that, does she?" The colors were bright. The brushstrokes apparent. The proportions not quite right. "No, Mom, her skin isn't blue" was my usual response.
Calix 2017 mixed media on masonite
It continues to be difficult to not want to paint a painting that pleases, that sells, that makes a statement, that promotes a way of seeing, that I can rationalize, that tells a story, that captures a moment. I wish, at times, that I was that kind of painter.
I'm not.
There is a journey that I'm on in my studio. It is very personal, but it is expressed in a concrete and very public way. Most of my inspiration comes from looking at another person. I am compelled to make a tangible object that captures my experience of that other person. I don't know if that has meaning to my mother or the world. I can't control other people's experience of my work. People want to know what my intention is. "Is that a figure?" they might ask.
I'm not sure that if an art historian ever tries to make sense of what I do that they will find an answer. I simply think, and feel, that the act of creative expression is powerful. Maybe I'm mirroring behavior I wish the rest of the world would embrace. If everyone would give life to something they feel, see, and think in a way that does no harm and adds something of beauty (though not everyone has to agree) to the world.
Why is that not enough?