The power of someone else’s positive thinking.
The studio has been a struggle lately. For the last three month I’ve been working on a new abstract figurative “profile” series — new model, new inspiration. Each of the six pieces has presented all sorts of challenges. I’ve gotten trapped into the “trying to get it right” mindset multiple times with each one of them.
First, I’ve struggled with trying to get the underdrawing “just right” all the while knowing I’m going to paint over the whole thing until the figure is completely over-painted which is the point of an underpainting.
Second, I’ve worried over the color choices. For some reason I made up my mind that these should have an overall blue tone and then picked red and green (and a little yellow) as my default palette. (Who am I rebelling against?)
Third, the composition starts to shape up and I fall in love with one little aspect of it and can’t let it go. (The death of a piece is when it become precious — thus my philosophy of “if I love it — paint over it” — which is easier said then done.)
Fourth, I distrust the process I have developed and try to find a “new” way to go about it. (Why is that? The whole point of these “profile series” is to apply my unique technique.)
Fifth, I think too much — thinking I can analyze my way to the “correct” answer. (And most likely thinking that this is a commissioned series and I need to please someone other then me!)
Sixth, I think I have to get into the right emotional space to stop thinking about what the right thing is. (Have I ever been in the right emotional space? What would that look like? I start thinking about that.)
Seventh, I question why I’m questioning what I’m doing and start worrying that I’m going to make a mistake and ruin the piece even though that isn’t possible. (It will be altered, but not ruined, which is kind of the point. Remember: letting go is the point.)
Eighth, the canvas and I stop talking to each other and I try to hold out until the canvas apologizes to me for being such a bother — which of course never happens.
Ninth, I give up waiting and try to make something happen. Which it does. Baby steps.
The client came by last week to see how it’s going and he was very excited about the five pieces that I said were “pretty much” done. He even liked the progress I made with the sixth piece. So all was right with the world and still I worried and thought and judged and struggled and fretted about the how to make the sixth piece finish the series.
And then yesterday I ran into a friend who is wrapping up his first term of medical school and was having his final exam in pharmacology that afternoon. And he was nothing but optimistic and happy and full of excitement about what he was learning and what he was gong to be learning next. He almost glowed.
Into my blue funk spilled these golden rays of pure love of life and learning.
Within a few hours the sixth painting of the series was done after taking a few risks and have a good conversation with the canvas.
The artistic process is a very complicated undertaking.
Maybe medical school would be easier.