We live in interesting times.
It’s election day. I’m trying to put positive energy out into the universe. We need change.
I’m trying to plan for the future. Not the far future, but maybe a new path.
I’m trying to mark where I am right now, in this place, at this time. We are at Day 231 since that day in March when we were told everything had to change. We had to stay away. We had to stay home. We had to keep our distance.
And for 231 days, life has taken on a routine. I miss spontaneity. I miss the normal distractions. I miss my emotions feeling normal. Everything contained. Constrained.
But, there have been a few epic events that need to be noted. I passed a milestone birthday. Not a lot of fanfare, but just like every milestone birthday I’ve had, it’s nice to be on the other side. I’ve been writing. I’ve been reading. I’ve filled up my days.
I managed to complete three “series” this year at the studio, despite lock downs and social distancing. That wasn’t an easy task when I rely on a model for inspiration. Lucky timing on my part. And — big news — I have a painting at the de Young Museum in San Francisco. That’s huge for someone who’s terrible with self promotion. A friend told me about the Museum putting out a call for submissions. I resisted. Then, at the last minute, I screwed up my courage and submitted two pieces. Then, the wait for a couple of months. Finally, the notification. They accepted one piece. Wow! That was a surprise. Lots of doubt, wondering what about this piece was worthy? Working hard to not second guess my good fortune. Next, the delivery of the painting to the museum and the pride I felt when I watched a museum employee literally walk my painting into the Museum — the drop off was handled outside. As Covid restrictions lessened and the Museum opened, I went to see my painting and the other 800+ artworks hanging salon-style (floor to ceiling). I felt small and big at the same time.
I have a painting out there now — for another two months — validated by a prestigious institution choosing it. I have a piece of me hanging in a gallery for strangers to see. I wonder how people are communicating with it. I wonder what conversations they are having. This is exactly what I wanted, for a stranger to walk by, stop, and be pulled into a space they haven’t been before. If the painting helps anyone wonder, or feel connected, or sparks any familiarity with anything I was trying to express — well that’s a very great thing.
But how will I ever know that a painting of mine talked to someone? Now that’s a new thing I hadn’t expected to wonder about this year.
I live in interesting times.